Question by kyle: Is this a good poem for a 15 year old?
Keep in mind that i have never experienced any of this so i was just bored when i wrote this. hope you like it 🙂
The cold dark nights
The bright street lights
No point in trying to fight
I have already lost
The great trees timber
The lights get dimmer
My body tries to simmer
As the world around me falls
There is no point in hiding
There is no point in denying
That fact that i am trying
Just makes matters worse
I tried everything i could
I tried everything i should
But nothing i tried would
My life is just a curse
————————————
Now for this next poem i am going to write, it was going to be a part of the top one. thats how i made it but it seemed better if i had these two parts separated into two poems.
This is the next one
I’ve got nothing on this earth
Sense the day i was given birth
Whats my life worth
Without the grace of her love
My life feels pain
My life feels strain
My life feels hard to tame
But she fits me like a glove
She makes me feel one
Her love is brighter than the sun
Her love feels like a ton
And it overpowers me
Her love floods my sadness
Her love destroys my madness
Her love fills my blackest
Her loves a mystery
The truth is she
Is the one that gets me
Anyone can see
That my love her her is true
And sense she makes me feel
The way she makes me feel
At times i let her take the wheel
So my life is not screwed
———————————————-
i just wrote these a few minutes ago and in order for me to say if they are good or not, i need other peoples opinions. if you could give me your opinions on both of the poems, that would be wonderful. thank you 🙂 And like i said, i wrote these poems for fun, they had nothing to do with actual life problems.
Best answer:
Answer by sam_92
I think they are really good. Good range of vocabulary and some deep stuff you are talking about.
Keep up the good work 🙂
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
wow thats really good but you need to work on the metre..like the beat you know? I think this could be made into a beautiful song, not that its not a wonderful poem! You’ve got talent kid!
You’ve really got something there, especially in the first. Sounds insightful-surprised me to see this had nothing to do with actual problems. But I’m a teenager into poetry too (though I make mine like song lyrics) and I write about all kinds of situations, especially from the perspectives of other people I know.
Don’t ask if its good for your age. In a way it’s like you’re putting yourself down. It’s not “15-year old poetry” it’s simply poetry. And I think It’s good for anyone. I like the the rhyme, and it flows well.
I can see you like to write. So don’t give up. I’m not, and I’m gonna get somewhere someday, as will you.
Stop and think.. if you have never experienced these things then how could you have written about them?